


Lavender

by catcircles



Category: JUDGE EYES: 死神の遺言 | Judgment
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, i know the office doesnt have a stove btw idk why i wrote this just give me a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 12:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcircles/pseuds/catcircles
Summary: Kaito's got a self-destructive streak and Yagami is tired.





	Lavender

Yagami came shambling into the office a little past 9pm. It was early... for him, but the detective was already dog-tired. He hadn’t been sleeping as of late and he could do with an early night in for once. Maybe he could actually get in a solid 5 hours of sleep if he tried.

Yagami had expected to find the office empty, but as he made his way up the stairs, he could see the faint glow of lamp light shining through the glass on the door. He smiled to himself, Kaito must be here.

Through the window, Yagami could see the yakuza sitting at the desk in the far back corner of the office, smoking a cigarette. The sleeves of his orange silk shirt were rolled and pushed up past his elbows, showing off his impressive arms. A sight Yagami didn’t get to see often - if ever. 

Yagami was tempted to stare, realizing that Kaito hadn’t noticed him standing there yet, when to his horror, he watched as his partner lifted the spent cigarette from his mouth, examined it briefly, and then brought the light down on his left arm, twisting the smoldering end into his skin just above the elbow. Yagami gasped at the sight and hurried to push open the door. Kaito’s eyes snapped up, wide and startled, and he moved to quickly toss out the butt, rolling his sleeves down awkwardly and fumbling with the cuffs.

“Ta-bo.” He sputtered, giving a dry chuckle and swiping some remaining ash off the desktop. The taller man fidgeted uncomfortably, avoiding his friend’s intense gaze.

“You’re back early. Scared the shit out of me, bustin’ in here like that.”

Yagami frowned.

“What the hell was that, Kaito?”

Kaito chuckled again nervously.

“Gee, nice to see you too.” He made a feeble attempt to deflect the question.

“Kaito.”

“What?” The yakuza snapped, bristling slightly. Yagami sighed and stepped around the side of the desk, holding out his hand.

“Show me.” He said firmly.

Kaito stood up, stepping back from his friend and putting the chair between the two of them, trying his best to hold an imposing stance, although Yagami could see the slight tremble in his hands where they were balled into fists by his sides.

"Show you what? Ta-bo, you're being weird."

Yagami sighed.

"The burn on your arm, man, what the fuck was that?" 

Kaito scoffed.

"Is that what all this is about?" He asked, incredulously, eyeing Yagami's outstretched hand like it was going to turn into a snake and bite him. Yagami tilted his head to the side, waiting for Kaito to do something else, say something else. He wasn't going to let him weasel his way out of this one. When Kaito realized he wasn’t going to be able to get his partner to shrug this off, he scoffed again, exasperated. He crossed his arms over his chest defensively and leaned back against the wall behind him.

"I was just bored. I wasn't thinking. Jeez, you're really reading into this. Don't worry about it." 

"Show me, then. And then I'll stop worrying." Yagami leveled, watching his partner furrow his brow at the statement.

"No." He said firmly, pressing back into the wall ever so slightly.

"Why not?" Yagami was struggling to keep his voice calm. Kaito was a force to be reckoned with when he was angry, but Yagami refused to just let this go.

"Because it's none of your damn business!"

Kaito was starting to get visibly stressed, shoulders tensed, chest heaving. He tried to push past the detective but Yagami threw out an arm to stop him. Kaito growled in frustration and threw up his hands.

"Jesus, fine. Fine! You want to see it so bad?"

Grumbling angrily to himself, Kaito unbuttoned the cuff of his left shirt sleeve, hastily rolling the fabric up and over itself to bare his arm for Yagami, whose stomach dropped as more and more skin came into view. Kaito’s entire arm was mottled with dime-sized burn marks, some old and pale, some new and healing into a shiny pink. There were 3 fresh burns lined up on his bicep, just above the elbow, glistening with fresh blood and looking raw, red and irritated. Kaito thrust his battered arm into Yagami’s face, an attempt to scare him away - shut him up. Without thinking, Yagami reached out and gently grabbed hold of it, lowering it to get a better look.

“Do you get…bored often, Kaito?” He asked carefully, trying to prompt some genuine response out of his friend without scaring him off. Kaito wrenched his arm away suddenly, holding it close to his chest.

"Fuck off." He spat, "You've seen it. Happy?"

Well, mission failed.

The fear he could hear under the venom in Kaito's voice made his stomach twist again and he shook his head, reaching out a gentle hand to pull Kaito's arm out back towards him. The yakuza was hesitant, but didn’t put up a fight, letting Yagami examine his burn-covered skin more carefully.

"No." the detective muttered, studying the scarred skin beneath his fingers.

Kaito looked with him, watching his partner take in the damage. Kaito sighed, exhausted. The tension released from his shoulders all at once, letting them droop defeatedly.

"Look, Yagami..." All fight had left his voice. He dragged a tired hand down his face and finally looked up to meet Yagami's eyes.

"It's just a bad habit." He said bluntly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like he'd just told Yagami the time of day. The detective balked.

"You can't be serious." He said, searching Kaito's face for any hint of emotion. Anything he could try to connect to. He could see none, just those familiar, tired eyes looking blankly back at him. He continued.

"Smoking is a bad habit, biting your nails is a bad habit. Kaito, this is... you know what you're doing here."

Kaito’s intense mask didn’t slip. Steely and cool, he seemed to be searching Yagami's face for something as well, although the detective couldn't seem to offer up whatever it was he was looking for, because Kaito made no effort to respond. Yagami shook his head again and turned his attention back to the burns on Kaito's arm.

"I want to clean these."

Kaito gave a mirthless chuckle.

"I can do that myself." He replied halfheartedly. Not ‘I _will_ do it myself’, just a simple statement of fact. ‘I _can_’. Yagami knew Kaito well enough to know that that translated into ‘Don’t bother’. Yagami let go of Kaito's arm and stepped back, turning and making for the cabinets by his sink to rummage around for his first aid kit.

"No, no. I want to. Sit down."

Kaito sighed reluctantly but did as he was told and sat down on the couch. Yagami knelt beside him and popped open the little plastic case, rummaging through his well-used medical supplies.

“My big strong Kaito.” He said with a sad smile, reaching out for Kaito’s injured arm, which was reluctantly placed in his waiting hand.

“Why would you do this to yourself?” Yagami didn’t look up as he asked, focusing instead on gently dabbing a cotton ball full of peroxide on the burns. It stung. Kaito grimaced.

“Does it matter?” He asked stubbornly, avoiding the question again. Yagami pressed a cool, damp cloth to his skin.

“Of course it does.” He answered quietly. Kaito huffed and turned his head, still choosing not to answer. Yagami carried on.

“Well, whatever the reason, it ain’t good enough.”

He rubbed some ointment on his fingers and worked it as lightly as he could into the burned areas. Kaito bit his tongue to hold back a hiss of pain. Yagami noticed his discomfort and looked up, genuine remorse plain on his face. Guilt pooled in the pit of Kaito’s stomach.

“Sorry.” Yagami said. Kaito actually barked a laugh at that, startling the detective with his sudden outburst.

“I think it’s safe to assume I’m not gonna be too broken up about getting hurt.”

Yagami pulled a small spool of gauze from the kit and set to work wrapping it snugly around Kaito’s lower bicep.

“I’m sorry about that too.” He said quietly. Kaito frowned.

“C’mon, man. Don’t say sht like that.”

Yagami didn’t say anything else, just continued to bandage his partner’s arm, watching as the sticky yellow stains on the first wrap were overlapped with fresh gauze one times, two times, three times, and eventually disappeared.

When they were finished, Yagami left Kaito on the futon and made his way to the sink, filling up the kettle to make a pot of tea.

“I would make coffee but… we both need to sleep.” He said, flicking the burner on and setting the pot down. Kaito chuckled, a warm, deep sound that lightened the somber atmosphere.

Yagami set left the pot of water on the stove to boil and returned to the sofa. He sighed and slumped into the soft leather, closing his eyes and trying to relax. Kaito watched him carefully, absentmindedly rubbing at the gauze on his left arm.

“Ta-bo.”

Yagami cracked one eye open to look at him. Kaito smiled and opened his arms a bit, gesturing for Yagami to move closer.

“Come here.”

Yagami smiled back, shifting so that he could lean back on Kaito’s chest. They stayed like that till the kettle began to whistle on the stove. Yagami had begun to drift off in his partner’s lap, but stirred at the sound. Kaito helped him sit up but stopped him from getting to his feet.

“I’ve got it.”

Yagami smiled fondly and hunkered back down on the couch, listening to Kaito steep and pour the tea at the counter. Just a few minutes later he was handed a steaming hot mug of a light, floral smelling tea.

“You had lavender tea in the cupboard so I brewed that.” Kaito explained, letting Yagami sit up to make room for him again and then settle back down against his chest. The detective hummed in response and took a long sip of his drink.

“Lavender helps you sleep, but it’s looking like you might not need much help.” Kaito teased, watching the way Yagami’s head nodded. Yagami snorted lightly but didn’t argue, continuing to lazily sip his tea until Kaito reached around him to gently take the cup from his hands.

Must’ve been a long day.

“Just sleep, man. I gotcha.” He set the mug on the coffee table with one hand, careful not to spill his own. Yagami rubbed at his eyes and slumped further.

“Are you gonna stay?” He asked, turning so that his cheek was pressed into the yakuza’s shoulder. Kaito hummed affirmingly into his tea and Yagami stretched obnoxiously, nearly upending Kaito’s mug and yawning.

“Good, because I wasn’t planning on moving again to let you up.” He said smugly. Kaito chuckled.

“What if I gotta piss?”

“Some people got a thing for that, you know?” Yagami teased, raising his eyebrows suggestively although his eyes were already closed.

Kaito snorted.

“Disgusting. Go to sleep before I knock you out.”

Yagami laughed sleepily, but didn’t challenge him further. Almost as if on command, the detective was out like a light not ten seconds later. Kaito smiled to himself, and fought the urge to run a hand through Yagami’s shock of wavy black hair. The detective was nuzzled into his chest, eyes shut peacefully, his breathing slow and steady. It was nice to see him sleeping so soundly for once.

Kaito stayed like that, drinking his tea with Yagami in his arms. He was highly aware of the way his left bicep stung under his sleeve, but the warm weight on his chest had him focused on other things for the time being, and so he was content to just sit and stare mindlessly out the window. Kamurocho buzzed with life and activity outside their office building. Just beyond the glass he knew the streets were bustling with crime, drug deals, money passing hands. Kaito felt his eyelids getting heavy. Murder cases waiting to be solved, family business, corruption. But for now all that chaos was muted, distant, and Kaito reveled in the quiet. The scent of warm lavender filled the room, and Kaito inhaled deeply, letting the slow, easy rhythm of Yagami’s breathing lull him to sleep. They could deal with all that tomorrow. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> here i go again, writing random bullshit for myself and no one else LOL

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Ashes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026013) by [cloudyatm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudyatm/pseuds/cloudyatm)


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